Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Soul Coaching Day 11

Today was about noticing recurring emotional patterns. I was surprised by what I saw even though I expected it.

I worry. Mostly about things happening in the future. This test next period, getting that homework done, going to college. The big one lately is still passing my driving test. It's coming up on Monday and I do not feel ready. I have to take the test in a city I do not drive in very often. It is busy and different from the small town I live and drive in. Whenever I think about this (more than once a day usually) I get scared and feel helpless.

I plan ahead. I think about exactly what I need to be doing in study hall, or when I get home from school. It feels good. I am thinking about myself and what I need to do. I'm not worrying about other people. Looking at it now that sounds a little selfish. I think it's a control thing. Growing up (and even now) I did (do) not have much control of what I can do outside of school. I depend on my parents, but at times I feel like I am controlled by them.

These are the two major things I noticed. Not only are they related to each other, but to how my parents have raised me. Worrying and planning are things that both my parents do. No matter how hard you try, I guess you do end up like your parents. Now I have to wonder, are these bad? I do not want to worry as much. I need to let this go.

I am willing to release this pattern of worry and accept that life will happen, and I will be okay.

That is my affirmation. It sort of covers the planning ahead thing, too. I should let life happen to me more often. I am not just living life, I am alive! That feels good to say.


  1. I don't why we worry about different things. I tend to worry about "when"
    When will be the best time to do_____?
    It seems to slow me down in life.

    Coffee is on.

  2. Great noticing today! I love your affirmation and definitely feel I could use some of that too :)

  3. I too love your affirmation! So infinitely wise and true! You rock! :)

  4. "I am not just living life, I am alive! That feels good to say."

    That is a pretty darned powerful statement. Kudos to you!

    Good luck on your test Mon, and on your scholarship applications too.
    (Can you practice driving in the area the test is this weekend? - even if not, I'm sure you'll do fine.)

  5. I am willing to release this pattern of worry and accept that life will happen, and I will be okay. - and so be it. !

    yes, we can be like our parents.. I was for a long, long time but slowly I am letting go of worry and control. You will do it for sure, you are strong, wise woman..

    ps good luck with your driving test :) xoxo

  6. Focusing on yourself does mean that you have some control, because goodness knows we have no control over other people.

    Letting go of worry is healthy too, if you can do it. Please share more because I worry all the time too.

    I look forward to a couple of unplanned days, sometime next week! Ack!

  7. Woderful that you noticed this pattern in your life, Tori! It's good planning and sometimes worrying is just inevitable, but planning too much ahead takes all the spontaneous factor from your life! Following the waves when they come is so relaxing when we let ourselves to do it!

    Kisses from Nydia.

    PS: Just tagged you!