Sunday, November 2, 2008

Soul Coaching- Day 1

After waking up and getting a hot chocolate I sat down and read day one. When I finished reading I went and opened my window to breath the morning air. Memories came flooding back. The chill in the air, the early morning sounds. They fueled my happiness as a child, but also my unhappiness. I did not appreciate the chilly air, morning sounds, or fresh dew for waking me up when I went camping. Now I can remember that unhappiness with happiness though. The cold mornings grew into warmer afternoons. The unhappy waking drifted into a happy slumber.

The point of today was to assess my life. My health, my relationships, finances, career, creativity, and spiritual fulfillment. I will give a condensed version here, because I ended up writing three pages.

Health- I am healthy now, but I worry for my future health. I do not eat healthy enough nor do I exercise enough. I try to convince myself it's okay, or that I can change my habits when I move out, but I know that it isn't okay and now is the time for change.

Relationships- I have stressful relationships with my peers. I feel that because I have been patronized my whole life by my family I act differently than I should. If I do not change then people will continue to patronize me.

Finances- I am still financially dependent on my parents. I still live at home. I do not have a job yet, but I will have one when I get my license. I am saving money towards college expenses and inspecting my car.

Career- I do not have one right now because I am a high school student. I know what I want to do, though, and I am working towards this goal.

Creativity- I try to be a creative person. I write poems and stories. I am my own worst critic,
though, and I have stopped recently because I do not feel inspired to write.

Spiritual fulfillment- I am working on this. I know my path and now I'm walking down it. It's a life long journey, but I am committed to it.

Over the next 28 days I want to grow up more. I don't want to be patronized by my peers anymore, so I need to change.

The daily affirmation today was "My evaluation of myself is not who I am." I like this one. It is good to remember. Especially of you are like me and have a low opinion of yourself. Like I said when I talked about my creativity, I am my own worst critic.
Today we were told to stop and take deep breaths. This brought back another memory. A few years ago when I got my bellybutton pierced I was given some wonderful advice. I had just gotten it done and I was crying because it had hurt (duh). There was a woman there at the tattoo parlor and she showed me her tattoo. It was simple. It was just the word BREATH. She told me "Now, just breathe. You'll calm down." Those are the first words someone tells anyone who is crying, and with good reason. Breathing is the most necessary of all things we can do. It calms us down and helps us think more clearly.


  1. First of all let me start by saying that I admire you so much for the wisdom you already are in possession of and the fact that you are on the road to greater wisdom. That is BIG.

    I totally get being your own worst critic. Ugh, I get in that space sometimes and it is a devil to get out of and yet when you do come out of it great things are usually born.

    Breath in/ Breath out--it is all we really have to do. Looking forward to more from you, Tori,
    Peace~ Dawn

  2. What a sensitive picture you shared of the morning air. I felt like I was right there with you.

    There's heartfelt yearning for change in your assessment - and that always means that change is coming. May each day bring you closer to your hopes and dreams.

    And thank you so much for your lovely comment on my blog. (btw, we share pierced bellybutton's in common)

  3. if only i had the insight and depth of thought as you do when i was a high school student...
    an honest and beautifull written post. i look forward to reading more.

  4. Hi, Tori! Loved the way you described your assessment. Do relax, in due time things start going to their proper places. Enjoy the time you have at your parent's. I miss that time a lot, and wish I coud have spent more time with them, in my eager to see the world! You can gently start stablishing your territorial limits so people will respect them and not invade your space.
    Step by step, you'll make your dreams come true, I believe it.
    Great start!

    Kisses from Nydia.

  5. What a beautiful honest post. Breathing helps with pain, it is so true. I love your writing Tori, I hope you share even more of your creative work with us. Try not to be afraid to be who you really are. It hurts your health and spirit to pretend to be someone else, costs too much energy! The right people will find you when you are who you really are all the time.