I'm home for a week! Well, I'm at my parent's house for a week. It just doesn't feel like home. Sadly enough, my dorm does now. That could change. A good chunk of my friends all left for internship. I still have a few friends there luckily. I have to make new ones when the new group comes in... Of course by this time I'll be working at Sugarsnap, and even more of my friends will have left for their internships. It makes me want to cry, the thought of being up there with no friends. My friends pulled me through so much. And if my parent's house isn't home, and if the people who made college home are gone- then what is home? I just don't know anymore.
I came here to escape from drama for a week. That's all school has been for a while now, drama. Unfortunately I forgot that my family has just as much drama. I already can't wait to go back to Montpelier. At least there it's my own drama I'm dealing with and not everyone else's.
I obviously have a huge resistance to change. I always get panicky when a major change is coming. I don't deal with it as well as I could or should. I know I need to learn to accept change, I just don't know how. I get comfortable and I like where I am. Then everything gets turned upside down.
I think that's it for the insightful, thoughtful, meaningful whining. I feel like starting my day soon. I could use a shower, a cute outfit, and of course breakfast. So here is a list of yays and nays going on in my life.
YAY!
Cats cuddling with me while I'm home
Big bed to sleep in
Care packages from friends
Family that loves me
Seeing friends I haven't seen in a while
Music
Warm days
NAY!
Money problems
Budgeting
Boy problems- still
Annoying family drama
A messy bedroom
Panicky feeling in my gut
Songs that make me sad but I listen to anyway
Just to make this into a sandwich of good, bad, good- have you guys seen this video? It is SO cute!
Don't focus on the Nays... Just think about the Yays! Also, that video has just cheered me up SO much. I was laughing out loud. How can you be sad about anything when you watch that?
ReplyDeleteRemember when you first moved into dorms and you were incredibly homesick? And now dorms are home! I love my house at uni, but my parents' home will always be home to me. So you have adapted to change far better than I have. Change makes everyone panic somewhat... I wouldn't say you're any worse than anyone else! I think you should focus on your perceived faults less, because you are a lovely incredible person. :)
I love that video! I'm with you! I'm all for staying away from drama. If it's our own, it's somehow more tolerable. I hope the next semester is excellent for you!
ReplyDeleteI've so been where you are - that 'between the trapezes' space where no where quite fits! You've verbalized it SO well & rest assured, you will feel 'at home' again! Home is where the altar is, no? (& my whole house has that 'messy bedroom' feel right now - sigh!!)
ReplyDelete& congradulations on your summer job!! Now - to get more GF choices on the menu, tee hee!! I had the biggest compliment last week, a cousin who hadn't seen me since JUST after we went GF called after she'd seen me to ask what I was doing besides being GF - that I looked GREAT! Sweet. She has had hearing loss for YEARS, & reported that 5 days into being GF, her ears are clearing! Oh, I hope it continues!
Cheers - & may you have a GREAT summer!
So happy to hear from you Tori. Ah yes, where is home? I've been struggling with that one for a while. Tacking on other people's drama is so exhausting and it just seems to be everywhere. I hope you manage to find a little space of your own and at the same time enjoy spending some time with family for a little bit before the craziness begins. Can't wait to hear how that job/internship turns out for you!
ReplyDeleteIt's all bout growing up, Tori... Soon your parent's house will feel like home again when you're in, and your dorm's will be home when you return. And friends, the real ones, these never leave, even when far away. A day at a time, and being compassionate with your home 'nays', they're been always there, just seems louder now you're more time away.
ReplyDeleteI'm thrilled for you in your new phase. Chin up! <|;o)
Kisses and love from us.