Monday, December 7, 2009

Lots of Updating!

Confident. Happy. Inspired. These are three words that can explain how I'm feeling right now! My new classes are amazing. There are some boring points, but overall they are very upbeat and fun. Many of my teachers have lot of passion for the subjects they're teaching. I swear it makes all the difference in the world. When my teacher is passionate it inspires me and makes me want to be passionate. It makes me want to try harder and learn more. I've been to almost every single one of my classes at least once. There is only one class I have not had yet, and I have it tomorrow afternoon. I am really enjoying them all, though. It's very surprising. I feel foolish for being so nervous, but at the same time I know that being nervous is just a part of how I deal with change. I am not sure which class is my favorite so far. Maybe Spanish. The teacher is from Costa Rica (I think) and he's a lot of fun to learn from. He talks with his hands a lot and he encourages us all to do our best by giving us positive feedback and working personally on our weak points. I think it is easier for me than expected because I took 4 years of French, and the languages are very similar.

I have to say I never thought I would love being in class so much. My only concern is that I still feel knots in my stomach whenever I think about being in my lab class where I actually need to interact with customers. The knots dissolve as soon as I'm in class, but beforehand I work myself up thinking of all the possible things that I can do wrong. It's just frustrating, and something I need to work through.

I love how small my class is. There are only 6 of us! We are all going to know each other really well by the end of these 6 months. We're doing a lot of team building type activities, and it's wonderful. I feel so accepted. It's so different from high school where we all grew up together so they saw that stupid little kid I used to be. These people don't see that kid. Maybe that's why guys are actually starting to be interested in me? It's a strange feeling. Of course, not knowing much about the people I go to school with has got its drawbacks. I was eating dinner in the cafeteria talking with this guy and somehow we got on the topic of tattoos. I show him mine, and he starts in on the stereotypical crap. "Oh, it's evil. Do you cast spells? Blah, blah, blah." Not really in a mean way. But, still, I took it negatively. I should have expected it and dealt with it in a better way, but it still takes my by surprise when someone says something like that. I'm glad I don't have classes with this person, because I don't like him very much.

It's snowing here! Second real snowfall of the year. While I was walking to dinner I couldn't help but stare up at the sky. Falling snow is so beautiful. I just wish it wouldn't fall on my car...

I'll try to read blogs soon! I think Thursday and Friday will have to be my catchup days.


  1. You are doing amazing! Just being aware of the things that makes you uncomfortable empowers you. You know it's just anxiety and that's it. Nothing bad is going to happen, you're just uncomfortable. I do wonder what sign you are Tori, I can't remember! Learning about your chart can sometimes help.

    I am so happy to hear you're enjoying your classes and feeling more confident!

    And that guy? What an ass! Your tattoo is beautiful and sacred. He is a bonehead. Period. Some people!

  2. I can feel your enthusiasm for your classes right through the monitor. Yay!!!

    I looked at your tattoo and it is beautifully done! I don't think that most people understand paganism at all. I'm not pagan and I know very little about it. But, I do know that it's not inherently evil. Sheesh! What an idiot!

  3. Glad to hear you are feeling happy and inspired Tori! Sorry that guy in your class was rude-unfortunately those kinds of things happen! Just stay positive and remember that karma will bite him in the ass some day. Have a wonderful week friend!
    Hoi Sum

  4. That's so wonderful that you are enjoying your classes! Any schooling outside of high school is more enjoyable, I think. This time you WANT to go to school and learn and everyone is there for the same reason. Good for you!

  5. It's so great that school's going well & you're excited about what you're learning - woo hoo!

    Your tatoo is georgeous! I have 'dancing fairy dragons' on my upper arm, which is hidden by sleeves, so I have friends who are suddenly surprised when they notice it! & it's very fine, so looks like a temp tatoo, so they have to ask if it's 'real' . . .
    I recall a friend 'ranting' about how AWFUL it was when women had tatoos, & we were going to a 'fancy dance' the next day - do I tell him??
    I decided not to (It was a 'BALL' & I was wearing a 'flapper' dress with little straps, so it showed) . . . he helped take my coat off, saw the tatoo . . . said "oh - you have a tat - . . . (PAUSE) . . . could you help me with my tie??" If I'd mentioned it during his rant, I think it would have been a 'bigger deal,' as it was, it never came up again!

    Different beliefs scare folks - it may be more his parents' stock thoughts about 'witchcraft' than his own - if it comes up again & feels appopriate, you might share some 'wicca 101' info. I often mention that 'pagan' simply refers to the folks who lived away from the cities, the country folk, who paid attention to the seasons & the land. That usually makes people stop & think (if they're at all open - if he's not, bless him & be you your way :)

  6. Love, love, love your tattoo!

    Nothing surprises me anymore when it comes to people and their judgements. Boo on him!

    I'm so glad your classes are going well. What a relief for you. :)