Self-Search Update

I didn't post as much as I had planned last week. Not even close. But schoolwork piled up, and it still kind of is. We're nearing the end of the mod (NECI's term for semester) so all of our final projects are due soon along with the regularly assigned homework. It's a little hectic!

Valentine's Day sucked. I'm not talking about the movie. Although speaking of movies I did see that movie Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief. For anyone who knew anything about Greek Mythology it seemed a little dumbed down. It's based off a book meant for middle schoolers, though, so it has to be expected. It was still a good movie.

Even though I might not be in the mood to write about love like I promised in my last post, I have an update on the self-searching. I asked myself the questions: Who do I want to be? What do I want to do? What do I want to get out of life?
I got these answers. I see them as little goals for myself. =]

•I want to excel in the food/ hospitality industry
•I want to become fluent in at least Spanish
•I want to learn how to dance
•I want to learn to play the harp
•I want to enjoy nature
•I want to eat foods that are fresh and local
•I want to travel
•I want to be self-confident
•I want to own my own restaurant some day
•I want to eventually get married, have children, and settle down

The next step is writing down how I can achieve these goals and then actually following through with them. Example: I want to excel in the food/ hospitality industry. The easiest way to achieve this goal would be to continue my education here at NECI. I need to push myself into taking an internship that challenges me a little. But before I can do this I need to get the paperwork in order! See? It's all about steps. I have to organize and prioritize.

I want to become fluent in Spanish. My Spanish class that I've been taking all mod is ending soon! I'm worried I might forget everything I've learned. In order to continue practicing I am considering buying a Nintendo DS so I can buy the My Spanish Coach game. Does anyone know how well the game works? The cool thing is if it works well for Spanish then I can buy the one for French, which I'd also love to become fluent in. Then I could move on to another language if I wanted. Plus I'd have a Nintendo DS and I could buy some other fun games for it. Tetris anyone?

Networking

So this morning I went to a career fair for school. As all the teachers kept saying, it's a great networking tool. Basically I walked around, talked to people about restaurants and resorts that I have no interest in, and handed out 7 of the 10 resumes I printed. I really hope none of them call me. There weren't any places there that interested me. Or anyone else as far as I could tell. But it was mandatory to attend so we all dressed up and went anyway.

I did mention that I now want to stay on for the BA Hospitality program, right? I just need to find the money for it and fill out the paperwork. If I do end up doing the BA program then my 700 hour internship gets turned into a 350 hour internship, and I'd be coming back to residency in October. Then I get another internship nine months later. If I don't stay on for the BA then I go out for my 700 hour internship in June, graduate, and I'm done. Boom, bam, Associates Degree complete.

I'm just planning on staying for the BA program at this point. Right now I am trying to decide on where I want to intern in June. The real question here for me is do I want to go home for internship or stay around Montpelier? If I stay around Montpelier I can stay in the dorms. If I go home obviously I have my parent's house to stay in. I don't think going home is a good idea. Financially it is, but I think it would be detrimental to my personal growth. Plus I think I'd go nuts. I don't really want to live with my parents again.

The reason I'm so interested in staying around Vermont is because I really love the idea of the Vermont Fresh Network. It partners farmers and chefs, keeping all the food in the restaurant local. This is definitely something I want to learn more about. Coming back for the BA program would mean choosing to either focus my studies on sustainability or wine. I'm much more interested in sustainability. I would learn about agriculture and the environment, exactly what I want!

I went home over the weekend so I could get my taxes and FAFSA done with. (Totally got those out of the way, and I have some money coming back to me for working that terrible summer job!)I also asked my parents to take me out to eat at a certain local restaurent. I was dying to meet this chef. He is not only a NECI graduate, but he is the president of the Vermont Fresh Network. Could it be any more perfect? The possibility of interning at his restaurant (which has an amazing relaxed atmosphere) is the only reason I am considering going home for internship. I did get to meet the chef, however briefly, and he told me to keep in touch if I was looking for an internship around the area.

Haha, I'm finally letting you guys know what's going on with school. I realized that I hadn't been. So what do you think?

Lots of Updating!

Confident. Happy. Inspired. These are three words that can explain how I'm feeling right now! My new classes are amazing. There are some boring points, but overall they are very upbeat and fun. Many of my teachers have lot of passion for the subjects they're teaching. I swear it makes all the difference in the world. When my teacher is passionate it inspires me and makes me want to be passionate. It makes me want to try harder and learn more. I've been to almost every single one of my classes at least once. There is only one class I have not had yet, and I have it tomorrow afternoon. I am really enjoying them all, though. It's very surprising. I feel foolish for being so nervous, but at the same time I know that being nervous is just a part of how I deal with change. I am not sure which class is my favorite so far. Maybe Spanish. The teacher is from Costa Rica (I think) and he's a lot of fun to learn from. He talks with his hands a lot and he encourages us all to do our best by giving us positive feedback and working personally on our weak points. I think it is easier for me than expected because I took 4 years of French, and the languages are very similar.

I have to say I never thought I would love being in class so much. My only concern is that I still feel knots in my stomach whenever I think about being in my lab class where I actually need to interact with customers. The knots dissolve as soon as I'm in class, but beforehand I work myself up thinking of all the possible things that I can do wrong. It's just frustrating, and something I need to work through.

I love how small my class is. There are only 6 of us! We are all going to know each other really well by the end of these 6 months. We're doing a lot of team building type activities, and it's wonderful. I feel so accepted. It's so different from high school where we all grew up together so they saw that stupid little kid I used to be. These people don't see that kid. Maybe that's why guys are actually starting to be interested in me? It's a strange feeling. Of course, not knowing much about the people I go to school with has got its drawbacks. I was eating dinner in the cafeteria talking with this guy and somehow we got on the topic of tattoos. I show him mine, and he starts in on the stereotypical crap. "Oh, it's evil. Do you cast spells? Blah, blah, blah." Not really in a mean way. But, still, I took it negatively. I should have expected it and dealt with it in a better way, but it still takes my by surprise when someone says something like that. I'm glad I don't have classes with this person, because I don't like him very much.

It's snowing here! Second real snowfall of the year. While I was walking to dinner I couldn't help but stare up at the sky. Falling snow is so beautiful. I just wish it wouldn't fall on my car...

I'll try to read blogs soon! I think Thursday and Friday will have to be my catchup days.

December Schedule

I swear, only at NECI do they screw with schedules this much. Apparently they have us on a different schedule for December than for the rest of Mod 2. So for just this month (the whole 3 weeks we actully have classes!) this is my schedule.

Monday:
Spanish 8-9:30
Written Expressions 9:45-11:45
Taste & Flavor Beverages 12:30-3:00
Interpersonal Communciations 3:15 - 5:15

Tuesday:
Introduction to Human Resource Management 8:30-10:15
Restaurant & Guest Management Practicum 10:30-3:00
Fundamentals of Marketing 3:15-4:45

Wednesday:
Spanish 8-9:30
Restaurant & Guest Management Practicum 10:30-3:00
Service Operations Management 3:15-5:45

Thursday:
Introduction to Human Resource Management 8:30-10:15
Restaurant & Guest Management Practicum 10:30-3:00
Interpersonal Communciations 3:15 - 5:15

Friday:
Restaurant & Guest Management Class 8:30-10:15
Restaurant & Guest Management Practicum 10:30-3:00
Written Expressions 3:15 - 5:15

Of course I didn't find this out until after I got to class this morning. Good thing I have Spanish at the same time and in the same place.

I am feeling a mixture of excitement, fear, exhaustion and hunger. Excitement and fear over my new classes, exhaustion and hunger because it's been a long day! Denis let us out of class early today, though, so luckily I get to go brave dinner at the cafeteria.

I have another post being planned in my head right now, I'll write it after dinner.

My New Class Schedule

I figured I'd share my schedule with you all! This is what it will be like until February 28th.

Monday
Spanish 8-9:30
Taste & Flavor: Beverages 12:30-3

Tuesday
Introduction to Human Resource Management 8:30-10:15
Written Expressions 10:30 - 12:30
Fundamentals of Marketing 1:30-3

Wednesday
Spanish 8-9:30
Interpersonal Communciations 9:45 - 11:45
Service Operations Management 12:45-3:15

Thursday
Introduction to Human Resource Management 8:30-10:15
Written Expressions 10:30 - 12:30
Restaurant & Guest Mangement (Practicum - Group A) 4:00-10:00

Friday
Restaurant & Guest Management Class 10:00-12:00
Restaurant & Guest Mangement (Practicum - Group B) 4:00-10:00

I don't know if I am in group A or B for the Restaurant and Guest Management class, but I've emailed the teacher requesting the Thursday group so I can drive home on Fridays. I had Denis as a teacher in my first mod, and he's pretty cool, so I think he'll let me be in that group.

Last night I was feeling really scared and worried. My excitement is slowly coming back. I guess I'll see how I feel once these new classes start! I am really looking forward to my Thanksgiving break. It will be so healing to just be cooking for my friends and family again.

Updates!

I figured I'd keep you all in the loop about what's going on with me at school! Today was my last day of my baking class. We had a written exam at 6:30 this morning. Fun, right?! No, not really. I may be a morning person, but I'm still human. No one wants to take a test that soon after they wake up. I'm sure I did fine on it, though.

Tomorrow I have to take my ServSafe Exam. Now there is a test I'm scared of failing! Mostly because if you fail you have to pay the $36 again so you can retake it. When I pass it I will be ServSafe Certified, though! So I won't have any excuse for why I can't remember what bacteria causes which disease, damn. I am worried about failing it, but I'm sure I'll do fine since it's multiple choice. I have a 25% chance of guessing the correct answer if I have to guess.

On Friday I have a mock job interview for my Professional Development class which is scaring the crap out of me. I can BS my way through written exams if need be, but when it comes to talking and doing I am not so great... And there really isn't a way to 'study' for it. I've never had a job interview, but I know the unprepared feeling is the worst part about it. I'm just sitting here wondering and worrying "Which questions will they ask me? What if I get tongue tied and forget everything?" AHH!

I guess technically this is like my finals week. I also have a final project for my computer class and an exam in my math class on Friday. Then on Monday we have an 'Assessment Day'. I really don't understand it. From what I hear two people from each block go to each class for three hours and there is some kind of competition between the teams. It sounds like a waste of time to me, because I hear we aren't actually getting graded on it! I'd like to just start my Thanksgiving Vacation early, why can't they make it optional? This school is so horrible at telling us what it going on!

Enough ranting, I am going to study and (most likely) unnecessarily stress myself out. Some good news, though: I think my cough is gone.

Updates

I just figured I would try and post something at least once this week, lol! I don't have much to say right now other than I am wicked busy with two school projects (one due Thursday one due Friday) and a practical exam coming up (next week!) that I need to study for. The practical is what is really scaring me. It is putting our cooking skills to the test. I am actually worried, something that never happened in high school! There is also a traditional test portion, which is the part I'm studying for. I'm making flash cards like crazy!

It's time for breakfast and my stomach is growling. Time to go! I hope I can find some time this weekend to get on and write another post.

More Updates & Things That Make Me Laugh

So, today is 'faculty day' which means no classes! I only wish I had known that before I drove all the way there... Ah well a free afternoon is a free afternoon! My morning was spent at an internship seminar. Here at NECI there is a mandatory 6 month (paid!) internship. I have no clue where I want to go for my internship, but I'll figure it out. I know the type of restaurant I want to work in, the same kind I want to eventually own, so I guess that's a good place to start.

My cousin and I went to dinner last night at one of the NECI owned restaurants. It is much fancier than we are used to! I got venison, which really didn't taste like venison. The reason? It was farm raised. How weird is that?! It tasted more like beef, not gamey at all. It was actually disappointing. It's been forever since I had venison, and when I do get it it doesn't taste like I remember. I wasn't surprised that the meal wasn't like I expected, I haven't eaten much here at college that I have liked. Yeah it's a culinary school, but we eat in a cafeteria with crappy cafeteria food. And whenever I go to one of the NECI restaurants I leave slightly disappointed with the meal. I can't wait until I go home next weekend! I'm going to make food I like and eat at a restaurant or two that I know I like. Plus I'll get to see my family and pets.

With my free afternoon I plan on checking out the NECI website a bit to look more into the pre-authorized internship sights. Later we are going to go to dinner and to see Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs. I hear it's a good movie.

Edit- Back from the movie theatre. Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs is amazing!

Now, just because I feel like sharing some random things-

I am re-reading the Oh My Gods! comics right now. I know I posted about this comic strip a while ago, but I think it's amazing. The creator hasn't posted a new comic since March, but he's been busy. He plans on starting it up again as soon as he can. Until then, if you've never read them there are 2100 to read! The strip started back in 2002.

My cousin has Stephen Lynch songs stuck in my head. She listens to his songs all the time. They are not appropriate, but they are wicked funny!

And lastly, have you heard of Johnny the Homicidal Maniac? I haven't had the chance to read the comics, but I am dying to! Someone animated the first comic and put it on YouTube. I'm looking forward to December when my birthday and Christmas roll around, because the books will definitely be on my list.

Fail

I'm ranting, venting, whatever. I'm stressed and I need to get it out. Read, don't read. Comment, don't comment. Doesn't matter. This is for me.

College is testing me... I'm still adjusting. The past two day have sucked, unbelievably sucked. Monday and Tuesday were great. I hope tomorrow is better. How am I dealing with stress? Horribly! It's not even all school. It's the million other things on top of school. Plus emotions I simply don't have the time to sort through. It's no wonder I'm not sleeping well, grinding my teeth, clenching my jaw, and having headaches.

I just keep telling myself I'm still adjusting. I'll get used to things in a little while. Then I'll be more comfortable here. Until then I guess I fail at life.

I did find something that made me happy today, though. There's a girl here who's from Keene. Someone besides me and my cousin who knows where and what my town is! It makes me want to go be her best friend. Too bad I'm too shy and dysfunctional at the moment. Damn, I really just don't know how to make friends.

The College Schedule

Here at NECI they do things differently. Our classes change every 6 weeks. For this 6 week period I have 4 classes. My week looks like this-

Cooking Theory and Food Science from 1-7 Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday.
College Math from 9-11:30 on Thursday and Friday.
Information Technology from 1-3:30 on Thursday and Friday.
Inventory Management from 3:30-5 on Thursday and Friday.

Right now we get Saturdays and Sundays off! This makes me happy.

So far I've only been to Cooking Theory and Food Science. This is the class that takes place in the kitchen. And not just any kitchen but in the big ol' kitchen of a giant insurance company. Which we have to drive to. This means I'm kind of the cool one for having a car. ;) Yay me!

So far we have learned to make consomme, a clear stock or broth. It was kind of interesting. I've missed cooking. So even if I'm not cooking what I'd like to be cooking at least I get to cook. Being in a kitchen is fun and exciting. Always moving, always on task. That's what I like best. I'll like it better once I'm comfortable in the giant kitchen. I hate not knowing where things are or what I'm supposed to do. I'm a little worried that I won't pick up on enough of it and be that person in the class who's no good at anything. I'm not used to that... in high school I was one of the smart ones. Those classes were easy for me. This school is actually going to challenge me. I'm just waiting to see how I handle that.

Since my class Monday thru Wednesday doesn't start until 1 and on Thursday and Friday they don't start until 9 I could technically sleep in later than I'm used to, right? You'd think so, but no. My body doesn't work that way. No matter what time I go to bed I wake up around 6:30. I'm glad for this, I'll never be late to a class. At least not any of these ones. We will have a baking and pastry class at some point that starts wicked early in the morning. That's where the alarm clock comes in!

More on College

My first four days of actual class time at NECI ends tomorrow. Then we get a weekend off, which I will be spending here in Montpelier. I'm hoping to find the gym and eat at one of the NECI owned restaurants. Also I should probably tidy up the dorm room, since it's still a mess.

This week we haven't had any 'real' classes. It's success week, which means they're just trying to teach us a few basic things. How to get here, how to use the NECI online things, where the library is and what's in it, and the most interesting thing- knife skills. It's easily the most interesting, but it is also my most dreaded success week class. I was just worried about accidentally cutting myself. Instead, within the first 20 minutes I faint. I was dehydrated. That was probably the scariest thing that has ever happened to me, and I won't be letting it happen again. That was on Tuesday. Yesterday (Wednesday) I was nervous to go back. I was behind everyone else since I had no clue how to chop an onion, at least not the 'NECI way'. I still feel behind, but I think I'm getting the hang of it. We also learned how to cut celery, carrots, and garlic yesterday. By Friday apparently we're going to learn how to julienne.

It's cool to be learning new things. I'm looking forward to the time when I actually get to start learning the management side (in 3 months I think?). Until then I'll probably feel a little lost. I'm not very interested in how to cook 'the NECI way', it all seems a little fancy and pointless to me. I mean- crushing garlic is a lot faster than mincing it by hand, and squaring off a carrot just makes a lot of waste and doesn't make any difference in the flavor. I feel that cooking should be practical.

I'm just going to keep thinking about my plans for the future, which will make all this worth while. I know I should be living in the present, but I'm not a fan of college life so far. I'm hoping it gets better, maybe I'll learn to be more social! I still haven't broken out of my shell.

What I Miss Most

This place is not a 'home away from home' yet. I don't know if it ever will be, mostly because of the things listed below. They are what I miss most about home.

Living in a house, not a room.
Being able to open the fridge or cupboard and decide what I want to eat.
Not getting lost when I drive somewhere.
My family.
My pets.
A real bathroom.
Visiting Aunt Jen on weekends and spending hours there.
Cooking for my family.
Having a sense of privacy.
Not paying for stuff.
My favorite radio station.
Watching TV or a movie with Tia.
Winchester jokes.
Hearing crickets at night.
The crazies in Brattleboro.
Comfort food.
Laying in bed talking to Tia for hours after we should be asleep.
"Night, love you, see you in the morning."

Full Moon Poem & College So Far

Friday is the full moon. They included this poem in my datebook, and I thought it fit really well. For me at least.

Like the fruits of the vine, our lives too can change and ferment. As you gather the late fruit harvest of your labor, give thanks for the sweetness of life. From such sweetness comes pleasure and treats, but also fermentation and "spirits." Celebrate the ever-changing nature of life, dreams, and goals as you toast the scared ingredients- friends, family, and familiars- the loving relationships that mellow and ferment you. Honor Dionysus, god of wine and ecstasy. Invoke the balance of the light and dark, and evaluate the balance within your life. As you prepare for the growing darkness, readying yourself to move within, clean and declutter yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Balance will bring you steady footing throughout the challenging journey ahead.

-Dallas Jennifer Cobb

So far I am loving Montpelier. I've walked around, eaten at a little diner, and found the grocery store. My cousin has been here 6 weeks already, so she knows where everything is. I am lucky for this because I'd have gotten lost without her! Today was the first day of orientation. It was mostly paperwork. There is a dorm meeting at 8:00 tonight, and after we have dinner reservations at a restaurant for 8:45. I really hope the meeting is short, because I'd hate to have to cancel. I'm going with my cousin and some new friends. I'm excited that I am actually making friends! That sounds lame, but I mean it.

Dorm room pictures! It's a small room, but since I'm sharing with my cousin it makes it easier.


All the stuff on the window, and it's a nice sunny day today.


Mini-fridge!

My desk, covered in stuff. It will get cleaned off once I actually need to use it.


Decorations! Yeah that pirate flag is hung up with duck tape, and the sun is hanging on a shoe lace. xD Resourcefulness!


My bed, where I'm sitting now.

Stuff To Do Before College

In the car on the way home yesterday I was making my 'to do' list of everything I need to do before leaving for college.

Get my computer back from Poppa once it's fixed (I need it for school!)

Get my car registered and inspected ASAP

Buy all the books and supplies I'll need for school

Make and freeze meals so my mom, dad, and Tia don't have to resort to frozen pizza & takeout while I'm gone (suggestions on what meals freeze and reheat well would be appreciated!)

Clean the house really well

Vacuum my car out (the previous owner hauled hay in it)

Pack my stuff

Babysit Keagan (I haven't seen him in weeks! I miss him...)

Print pictures to bring to college with me

Get a potted plant for my dorm room (I'll be in a city, want some nature with me)

Make Great Gram's relish

Contact NECI admissions about my questions

Hang out with my friends as much as possible

Orientation is the 3rd of September. I'm flip flopping back and forth between excitement and being so scared I want to throw up. Is college supposed to be like that?

College STRESS

I think our warm Autumn days are coming to a close! I am a wimp when it comes to the cold anyways, but today seemed colder than usual. I also spent most of the day a bit north of where I usually am because today we went to visit Green Mountain College.

I used to go to that general area when I was little because my Great Grandmother lived there. Some of my best memories are of the camping trips/family reunions we would have every summer in Rupert. It’s so open. It’s also a farming community, so you can’t drive a mile down the road without seeing at least one farm. I love it there.

I fell in love with Green Mountain’s campus. It has a huge library, a wellness center, beautiful trees, and my favorite part- a student run organic farm. They have crops and animals. They use all the food on campus too, 15% of the food eaten at GMC comes from the farm. I have been a member of 4-H since I was 8, and I really love farms. This school just seems like a perfect fit socially.

The unfortunate part (and there always is one) is that I cannot seem to find a perfect match study-wise. I want to open my own restaurant and have a farm. I looked at the business class at GMC and found that it really isn’t what I’m looking for. They have hospitality management, but it is on a different campus and focuses more on hotels. I left GMC confused and frustrated.

On the ride back home I realized how badly I want the real college experience. I want a real campus with dorms and a library. At New England Culinary Institute there is no campus. It is basically a restaurant that I would pay to work at and learn to run. I wouldn’t be sleeping in a dorm, but in a regular house that I would share with other people. It wouldn’t be bad, but it would be different from the way most people experience college.

I really hope I can figure something out soon. It seems like I need to look at some other colleges. Exactly what I didn’t want to do. The more I look at, the more stressed I get. Not to mention the scholarship applications I need to fill out regardless of which college I am going to. Those are already starting to pile up on my desk!

I did get my pendant from Such Pretty Colors today. That put a welcome smile on my face. =)

College

I just found out today that I have been accepted to the New England Culinary Institute! This is the college that three months ago I thought was the only one for me. I am happier than you can imagine that I now have it for a definite option, but I am not sure if it is where I will go.

I still want to own and manage a restaurant, but I realize that there are other good schools out there. I am going to the open house at Green Mountain College in a couple of weeks. It seems like a good school where I could learn what I want. At NECI I would only learn Restaurant Management; at Green Mountain I could learn management and other things that interest me. My family also wants me to look into Cornell. I think it’s farfetched that I could get into Cornell, but I’ll look into it if for no other reason than to make them stop bothering me about it.

Talking with my family I also found out that I will be the first on either side to go to college. My older cousin is planning on going, but she has yet to apply anywhere. I hope this is going to become a common thing. I would love to see my little sister and some of my younger cousins go to college!

Leaving home is a scary idea. I know that around this time next year I will need to become a much stronger person. Being close to my family makes staying away from them for a long period of time difficult. I’ve mastered being away for up to ten days, I wonder if I can stand being away for longer. It’s months and months away though, so for now I want to think about the fun things I will be able to do!

I will have a nice, long, informational post up before the weekend is over. I feel bad that I keep writing these short posts that have almost nothing to do with Paganism. I have ideas running through my head now. Maybe I should start writing them down so I don’t forget them! xD